This past month, after refusing the job for over a decade I have become a manager.

I have been the "acting" manager for my group ever since the last manager left, about a year an a half ago. I was hoping they would hire someone who actually knows what they are doing and, more importantly, wants the job but alas my boss and my boss's boss were having none of that. To make it worse, I did the absolute best I could (even though I don't want the job) and the folks who work for me really seem to like me. They certainly work hard and well together, which makes me look good, which makes my boss want me to take the job, sigh.... it's a vicious cycle.

Anyway, while they SEEM to like me, the one person most of them like even better is - themselves. It is review time again and this is the all important third quarter, that jump off make it or break it review that combined with the final review of the year either gets them a raise/bonus or leaves them 12 months away from their next good shot at it. In our company we have people write their own reviews, which I get to edit and then submit to my boss for final consideration.

What you rarely ever see are people who look down at the ground, beat their chests, and say "Randy have mercy on me, I blew it" No, you get the exact opposite. "Randy, you are so lucky to have me in the group. I am nothing like other people, who are lazy, opportunist good for nothings. I am so much better than old Joe over there. I get all my work done on time and under budget and work overtime just to make sure!"

So I get to edit all these glowing reviews of how hard they worked and how they saved the company from going bankrupt, etc. Please bear in mind that I ask them for an HONEST review, but I never seem to get that. When I remind them of the goals they missed last quarter, I am either crazy or it was someone else's fault. Ugh.

Obviously I cannot help but think of my own Lord and Master in these situations. How I will be standing before him one day, getting not my quarterly but my final review. Will I try to hype up how lucky he is to have me? Will I protest that I did all these wonderful works in his name? Or will I consider myself a worthless servant, an imperfect sinner who tried as best he could to get the job I was given done but now simply seeking mercy. Will I blame my failures on others, or will I own up to my shortcomings? Will I be surprised, knowing my sinful nature and my imperfect ways, to hear him say well done, good and faithful servant?

Yes, I have been an "acting" manager for a long time but now I am the real thing. Will we be welcomed home as faithful children of God? Or have we only been "acting" all along?

Randy